Heal by being: why authentic self-embodiment is our most potent medicine
when i was in the 2nd grade my teacher was named miss fisher. she was very young and very pretty, and she had a lot of rules.
when i was in the 2nd grade i was staying up all night, manic, because i was afraid of what would happen if i fell asleep.
my parents’ marriage was falling apart and most days my mom was more like a void than a human. there was a gray, shrieking panic that hummed just below my throat at all times.
when i was in the 2nd grade school was a fun place to be because i was really smart. and if you asked me, i would tell you - “i’m really smart!” the way kids do. before someone tells them that being proud of themselves is impolite.
when i was in the 2nd grade one day we were all sitting on the carpet in a circle and miss fisher asked us a question.
right away i knew the answer. i raised my hand and she pretended not to see me. i raised it eeeeeven taller, leaned forward, pressed my hand towards her averted eyes. still nothing.
i waited what felt like an ETERNITY, and in reality was probably 30 seconds, and then i lowered my hand and said “oh wait! i know!”
i pretended i had just realized the answer (lolol kids) and raised my hand again. this time she stared at me. glowered. i put my hand down in shame.
what memories do you have from your early years of taking up space in the world?
what messages did you receive, big or small, about letting the totality of your being shine through?
if you know how to muscle test, check yourself for these beliefs. if not trust your gut - which ones feel true? get in touch and i’m happy to teach you to muscle test.
when i shine i hurt people
i am rejected for taking up space
people hate show-offs
if i am the real me i will be all alone
i know what it feels like to be part of a family
the real you, exactly who you are, no cover-ups, is a unique expression of All That Is. you are one of a kind!
there might be someone out there, lots of people or just one, who needs to see you being exactly that.
i was at a dinner party a while back and one of the guests was a lady visiting from germany, an elementary school teacher. we started talking about resilience.
i asked her how she dealt with knowing some kids have terrible home lives, and that that’s why they’re doing poorly in school - how she deals with knowing that and accepting the limitations of her ability to change it.
she told me she deals with it because of resilience. because based on the latest research, you never know what one tiny interaction could be the thing that stops a child’s heart from closing.
you never know the one moment of kindness that could change the entire trajectory of someone’s life. you never know the power of seeing someone exactly as they are, even just for a second.
don’t deprive someone of your essence because of programming like the beliefs above. someone out there really needs to see you. you never know what it could change.
if you’d like to go deeper with this work and experience a technique to change these limiting subconscious beliefs for good, feel free to book a session here.
if you’re in nyc i’d love to see you at the june + august breath ceremonies. details here.